How to choose your career: Interview with Nancy Collamer
In 2018, I published a book about how to choose your career. In 2024, I moved the content to this site. Below is the interview with Nancy Collamer.
In your experience, why do so many people have difficulty making career decisions?
Great question. At the end of the day, it really boils down to one thing, and that’s fear. Fear of the unknown. Change is really scary for people. Fear about failure. Whenever you make a change in your career, it sometimes involves completely starting over or changing at some level, maybe moving to a new industry or company. Fear is really the major cause of difficulty. People wonder, “Is this a mistake and am I going to fail?”
If a client’s primary challenge is career indecision, how do you help the client?
The first thing is to help the client articulate what the fears are. Once you understand what you are concerned and worried about, then it becomes so much easier to address the issue and move forward. Along with that, one of the very best ways to counteract fear is to approach this process in small, digestible steps. By doing that and by taking things one small step at a time, the client along the way begins to build confidence. They also start to acquire skills and knowledge and information that help them to stop worrying and to feel more comfortable with their decision.
I say to clients that a lot of this is about doing, moving forward one little step at a time, taking small, consistent steps. It really helps to schedule time for this, to physically write down on a calendar the blocks of time to work on career issues. I’m a great believer in the power of writing things down, the power of creating the space for change to occur. Also, by having a set plan, it allows you to say, “This is a priority in my life.” Because otherwise, particularly for moms, life has a way of always interfering. If you are worried about something, it is very easy for other things to take priority over career decision activities.
To sum it up:
- Take things in small, digestible bites.
- Keep the action consistent.
- Plan it.
- Write it down.
You’ll make it happen and as you start to see things happen, you’ll feel more comfortable, you’ll gain more information, and you’ll calm down.
As you start to take action, inevitably, serendipity happens. If you are conscious about what you are doing and you have a conversation with someone or you read a magazine, you may hear about a training program or you meet someone who started a company and the person is someone with whom you would be interested in speaking. All of these “lucky things” start to happen to you.
As a career coach and parent, what advice do you have for parents who want to teach their children the skill of career decision-making?
The first thing is to give children the opportunity to make decisions all throughout their lives. If you are dealing with a two-year-old who is getting dressed, let him or her choose between two outfits. If you are dealing with a six-year-old who has more forceful opinions about what to wear that day, you not only let him or her choose between two outfits, but you let your child go into the drawer and pick it out themselves.
Let them make increasingly complicated decisions that are age appropriate and let them fail in a safe environment where the stakes aren’t terribly high. They learn that you make a decision and it isn’t always going to be right and you recover and you move on.
I read a book recently that said, in business, you should let people fail early, fail often, but fail “off Broadway.” Allow them to make decisions so that not everyone sees a big failure. In my business, suppose I am working with a client who wants to write a book. Instead of starting with a traditional book deal where you have to find an agent, write for a blog, or write a piece for your alumni magazine, or for your church or synagogue newsletter. Start small and slowly increase the stakes as you go along.
What advice do you have for young people who are discouraged about career decision-making in a time when college degrees are not a guarantee of employment and the state of the workplace and economy may limit options?
The days of lots of companies recruiting on campus and offering management training programs with ample career advancement—those opportunities are limited. But in other ways, there are more opportunities. For example, the costs of starting your own business and the capability of technology has dramatically altered the landscape and made it easier to be entrepreneurial.
I tell parents to help students figure out general areas in which they are interested. Get them into the general ballpark. Try to steer them toward companies that are involved in some way with that industry. If they enjoy English and literature, steer them toward companies involved in that industry, like a publishing company, a magazine, new media, or a company with a large PR presence.
Chances are, they aren’t going to start in the position they want to be in, but it is all about getting out there and learning about the work world and discovering the types of work environments and types of people and skills and responsibilities and values that you as a young twentysomething find appealing. I don’t know any way around that other than getting out there and doing it.
Spend as much time as you can learning and taking opportunities even if they aren’t exactly what you are looking for. Look at this as a continuation of your education. You will make more contacts and uncover more opportunities. Get involved in social and networking groups. Despite all the technology that exists, that’s the way that jobs are found.
Have you noticed that people who are happy with their career decisions tend to have some characteristics in common? If so, what are they?
The most important thing is a positive mindset. People who are happy with their career decisions look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. They see every opportunity, even the ones that aren’t optimal or their dream job, as an opportunity to grow. You have to look for ways to make your job meaningful.
You think about a janitor at a school and one janitor grumbles about cleaning up the messes every day. But a different janitor sees it as an opportunity to make the school a clean and safe environment for children to learn.
Same job, but some people look for ways to make their work meaningful. People who did their homework before making a decision to take a job often have better peace of mind because they did due diligence, explored options, and looked at pros and cons. They say, “I made the best choice of the available options.” It is important to research companies and do your own self-research. Figure out what is important to you. It isn’t just about what the company can offer you ... it is so much about the fit between you and the company.
Can you share with us an example of someone who struggled with career decision-making and you were able to facilitate a good outcome?
One client that comes to mind is a client who was a project manager for a pharmaceutical company in the IT division. It was a lousy fit for her and she wanted to get involved in training people how to be better public speakers.
She got involved in Toastmasters Club at work. She found she had a real talent for it. She liked putting together speeches and delivering them but also helping other people get better.
It was a big leap to leave her job and start her own business. She joined the Association for Talent Development (ATD), formerly the American Society for Training & Development (ASTD), and joined the board. She met someone who gave her small freelance assignments and within two years, she was president of the local ATD chapter. It took her two years to make the career transition completely but when she did, she was comfortable and confident about her new direction.
During this transition, she was visiting family when a tsunami hit. It was a frightening experience and even though she wasn’t hurt and neither was anyone in her family, it was a harsh reminder to her that life is short. She concluded that unless she took action and left the familiar, her life was never going to change. She found the courage to make a move.
In your work with mothers, have you observed that mothers have unique challenges in career decision-making? If so, what are they and what specific advice do you have for mothers?
I could talk about this for a long time! I work a lot more now with Baby Boomers [born between 1946 and 1964] than with mothers, but I have certainly done a lot of this in the past. Working moms have two jobs going on, both their paid employment and being a mom. They have all their decisions in the parenting realm and all of the decisions in the work realm. Sometimes the decisions in one realm have a negative effect on the other realm. There is a push and pull when you are a working mom. Even though you are clear about your decisions, you may feel guilty. Moms also feel fearful if they have taken some time away from the workplace and this causes mothers to think less big than they might otherwise think.
By definition, being a working mom has conflict built into it. It is impossible to do both jobs 100% at the same time. But lots of people lead very fulfilling lives and both their careers and their kids turn out just fine. Look for role models and a mentor and a networking support group of other working moms. There are no perfect solutions, but there are ways of handling conflicts that come up.
Also, get pats on the back that you are doing a pretty good job handling it all. Acknowledge that it is difficult and then figure out what is most important to you. This is a constant evaluation process. What is important when our children are infants may change over time, and then you have to re-evaluate.
Realize it is OK to make decisions that may slow down your career, and that a slower track for a few years doesn’t mean your career is dead. Likewise, there may be times when you have to put a lot of time into work, and as long as your kids are well cared for, the kids are going to be just fine, too. Kids learn from your example and it is OK to let them see you struggle as long as they also see the good that comes out of it as well.
You mentioned that you have special expertise in helping Boomers with career decisions. What are some of the challenges that Boomers face?
I think the top two challenges that Boomers face when trying to choose semi-retirement careers are:
1. Managing the “Where to begin?” question (aka information overload). For many people, this is the first time in their lives when they feel they have a world of options to choose from. No longer saddled with children or the overbearing financial concerns of raising a family and paying the mortgage, they are free to pursue career options that they might not have previously considered. This creates a dynamic that is simultaneously liberating and paralyzing, as the sheer volume of alternatives can be overwhelming.
2. At the same time that the options for change are limitless, many people experience difficulty visualizing themselves in a role that is different from what they have done for the majority of their career, even when they think working in a totally new field would be enjoyable. For example, a lawyer who wants to sell crafts in retirement might feel uncomfortable being in a profession perceived as less professional than their old work.
Solutions are the same as what I outline for all career changers:
- Spend time getting to know who you are, what you do best, and what you find meaningful.
- Do your homework to explore the “world of possibilities.”
- Test your interest with small actions. Competence breeds confidence.
- Surround yourself with support. Get involved with other members of your professional tribe.
- Evaluate and adapt as circumstances change.
Nancy Collamer is a retirement coach and a recognized expert on second-act career trends. She is the founder of MyLifestyleCareer.com.
